5 For your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now
Indeed, God-given grit has seen me through the worst in my life! Raising a child, on my own, as an immigrant who didn't even know the language, as a very young girl with no support web of a family, and certainly no money, grit is what has gotten me through! Grit and God's undeniable care for me, albeit I did not always realize it!
Today, I trudge along depending on such grit and my prayers to Him, for it doesn't seem I can ever count on the prayers of those such as her, who regularly pray to God, but don't ever seem to remember me in them. Without doubt, it must be that I am made of iron, with solder running through my veins, and have no need of her prayers! I've developed a lot of grit, and must have no need for any words of kindness and love extended me, either!
There are relationships, that as such, become toxic, that in hanging up after a phone call, which should have uplifted me, I am left with an even worse feeling of sinking. It seems, my "very eventful" life serves but as a form of distraction for the likes of her! More conversation to be had at the dinner table, perhaps! Fact is, never have I heard her even ask how I am regarding any one specific issue or another of which she is well aware, but she remembers not!
In any instance, we disagree on core issues, she taking umbrage when it is I balk upon hearing of her missionary friends traveling from Alaska to Florida, as if it were just a hop and a skip away! Or coming for a visit, from Poland! No, no Hudson Taylors to be found today! Just moochionaries! Or when I chastise a pastor friend of theirs, who criticizes the King James Bible, which she believes to be inerrant, yet, this pastor says differently! Ah! But he is a friend...
Praise God, I do have a very dear sister, my dearest Amy, who I know prays for me, she and her little ones, my darling "Chipmunks," and the reason I know this is I am told this quite often. She forgets not what any particular issue be for which I would need prayers. And, praise God, I get to talk to her every week, as busy as she is, for hours at a time! That is always a most uplifting experience for me, as it certainly was, again, last Saturday evening! One of her infinite attributes, is that she is as honest as the day is long! There are no two ways about her, and she makes no excuses for friends who dare taint the King James Bible! I doubt she would call these friends! Ah! We disagree, sometimes, but on no major issues! Too bad she lives so very far! She is an immense comfort in my life, more because she is so very forthright and direct about everything! I love that! I know exactly where I stand with her!
How ironical, that one who is made of iron, with solder running through her veins, such as me, who has developed so much grit and resolve, should be so very sensitive! I suppose, for the same reason a scarred area hurts so much more, if re-injured! Life's pummeling to have produced many!
Still, by nature, I am a very happy and contented person, who is always smiling and laughing! My motto has always been that, if there be no one else who can make me laugh, I can well accomplish that on my own! I love that in me! I thank God for this, for my great wit and sense of humor! Thus, undeniably, toxic, debilitating relationships must be discarded, if it is I am to continue with a healthy outlook, in spite of life's turmoils! I need all the energy I can muster to survive my very hectic existence!
Music has been the very basic thread that has seen me through so very much in life, what I call "my music," the multiple-language tunes with which I was so very fortunate to grow up! There are songs with which one can well identify! The following one could have been written for me, every word of it, for it truly describes my life!
Uploaded on Sep 9, 2006 by SOCRATEANDO
con la soledad, Cuando se me cierren las salidas,
Y la noche no me deje en paz. Cuando sienta miedo
del silencio, Cuando cueste mantenerse en pie,
Cuando se revelen los recuerdos, Y me pongan
contra la pared…
Resistiré erguido frente a
todo, Me volveré de hierro para endurecer
la piel, Y aunque los vientos de la vida soplen
fuerte, Soy como el junco que se dobla Pero
siempre sigue en pie…
Resistiré para seguir
viviendo, Soportare los golpes Y jamás me
rendiré, Y aunque los sueños se me
rompan en pedazos…
enemigo sea yo, Cuando me apuñale la
nostalgia, Y no reconozca ni mi voz. Cuando me
amenace la locura, Cuando en mi moneda salga cruz,
Cuando el diablo pase la factura, O si alguna vez
me faltas tú…
frente a todo, Me volveré de hierro para
endurecer la piel, Y aunque los vientos de la vida
soplen fuerte, Soy como el junco que se dobla
Pero siempre sigue en pie…
seguir viviendo, Soportare los golpes Y
jamás me rendiré, Y aunque los
sueños se me rompan en pedazos…
Resistiré!! Through God's grace!